Sex Toys 101

By Irish Eyes

This is another story in my series on improving your sex life. Enjoy

Sex toys. The subject brings up the idea of shadowy back-room stores with weird stuff that you are almost afraid to touch and dirty old men behind the counter. No good girl would ever go there!!

Well, times have changed, especially due to the internet! You can buy your sex toys in the privacy of your own home on-line. Also, many people (especially women) sell them in their homes now if you want to touch and feel them first (kind of like Tupperware or Mary Kay cosmetics, LOL). So there is no reason not to explore!! This is sort of the beginner course on Sex Toys.

Vibrators

Vibrators come in all sizes, shapes and colors. The variety is amazing. You will want to have more than one, partly because they do different things and partly because you may want more than one working on you (such as one in your pussy and one in your ass). Thin, smoother ones are great for the ass. It's recommended to use ones with a flared base so you can control how deep it enters the anus. Vibrators for your pussy may be thicker (all the way up to the giant penis-shaped dildos), may have ridging on them to stimulate your G-spot, and may have variable speeds. That's why multiple vibrators are helpful. You may want different strokes on different days!!

Using a vibrator can be as individual as the woman it is used on. Some women just stroke their clitoris with it, massaging either directly on the clit, or massaging in circles around the area. It helps if you understand that the visible part of the clitoris, the little nub, is really just the tip of the iceberg. The nerve tissue of the clitoris (the most extremely dense area of nerves in the female body) extends deeply under the labia (the pussy lips), under the hood of the clit, and you can feel a small shaft under the tissue (like a small penis- really!). In some women, the tip of the clitoris is too sensitive for direct stimulation and they need the stimulation to be a little less direct. Stroking the area around the clit gives that stimulation through the rest of the nerves. Remember that the roots (they really do look like them) of the clitoris extend into the labia so stroking the lips, getting closer and further from the actual tip of the clitoris may be effective as well. As I've mentioned many times, if you are doing this to a woman (i.e. not doing it to yourself), use good sexual communication, including words, to make sure that you are doing what she enjoys. If you are trying this yourself, just experiment at first finding what works and what doesn't seem to work for you. It's your body- Take the time to get familiar with it and see how different vibrators feel with different types of stimulation. If you like the feeling of having something inside your vagina, try inserting the vib after applying some lubricant (unless you are already wet!). Go in gently and explore, finding the places that you like the pressure. Obviously, I'd rather have a real cock attached to a real man, but this is an acceptable alternative when you don't have one available, or when you've already worn him out and you still want more!!! Moving the vibrator in your pussy, you can do all sorts of things. You can slide it in and out slowly (like a slow sensuous fuck) or you can push it in more vigorously and squeeze your vaginal muscles around it as it fucks you like a pounding cock. Don't forget, especially if you are doing this on your own, this is your opportunity to make yourself feel great, so put the vibrator where you want it, the way you want it, rubbing your clit with your fingers while you have the vibrator in your vagina. Work it, girl!!! The reason why women come so much faster with a vibrator is that they put it at the right spot with the right pressure with the right friction and it works!! If you are using a vibrator on a woman, you can either get her to show you how she likes it, or use the experimental method (checking with her frequently to find out if she likes what you are doing).

Putting a vibrator in the ass, whether it is a woman's or man's ass, requires some of the same patience and finesse as fucking someone's ass. Lubricant is a must (of course, make sure it is appropriate for this use) and a cool trick is to put a condom over the vibrator, lube it up, and then start exploring your partner's ass. Having the condom on keeps lube from getting in the cracks of the vibrator, and makes clean up much easier (more on that later!). Remember that the anus has very strong muscles at the opening and another set just inside. You'll want to press the vibrator gently, but firmly, against the anus until you feel the muscles start to relax. You can continue to insert the vibrator as the muscle continues to relax; taking care to communicate with your partner to be sure you are not causing pain. Once, the muscles allow you to advance the vibrator to wherever it feels comfortable to your partner (depending on the size of the vibrator and the relaxation of the muscles), you can gradually start sliding the vibrator in and out (fucking movements) or you can put some pressure onto the prostate gland of the male (located on the front wall- facing the penis and belly- of the rectal area). For men, this can be like turning on the"on" switch to their cock, increasing the size and hardness very quickly. Anal stim can also be very arousing for women because the G-spot is in a similar location on the front wall of the vagina, and a vibrator in the ass can put some pressure there, just as much as a vibrator in the pussy.

Just as a last note, be sure you clean your vibrator after every use. Use appropriate cleaners, such as antibacterial/antiseptic wipes, special cleaners for sex toys, etc. Don't soak them in water- kills the battery connections and they won't work anymore. Some are more water proof than others so check the specific information before running water all over them. If you use a vibrator in a pussy and you want to switch to the ass, no problem. But, always remember, if you have a vibrator (or other toy, or finger, or cock) in the ass, and you want to move it to the pussy, you must clean it first (this is where the condom over the vibrator makes things easy) because anal germs can be very bad for the vagina.

Have fun with your vibrators. They can really lend a lot of interesting pleasure to your sex life either with or without a partner.

Cock Rings

I love Cock Rings. These little circles of silicone (the newest material) can be very helpful to help maintain a great erection.. The old versions were made of leather with snaps to tighten around the cock, but they are a pain to clean (and never get really clean) so you can't use them for multiple men. Other ones were made of some sort of polyethylene or rubber, with a cinch type fastener to adjust the amount of tension (unfortunately, it didn't always stay tight). My best advice came from the sex information videos of Ducky Doolittle, a former sex-worker, now educator / video grapher / author. I found this video (available on several websites, but I found this one easily today)- http://www.your-great-sex-guide.com/cockrings.html. She explains that the best way to use a cock ring is to put it on over the cock and the balls,"the whole package" as she puts it. This has the effect of decreasing blood flow away from the penis, keeping it hard.. It has the added benefit of putting a little pressure (or a lot of pressure depending on the cock ring and whether it has some interesting shapes) at the base of the testicles where the secondary erectile center is located. This is on the flat area between the back of the balls and the anus, known as the perineum. There are nerve endings in this area that can also increase the size and hardness of the cock when pressure is applied. The cock rings provide this pressure to some degree, but, of course, you can also apply pressure with your finger tip or with a finger inserted in the ass (watch the fingernails!!), The new silicone ones are strong, very stretchy and thus easy to put on, and very easy to clean (so you can use them for all your men!). I have snapped a couple getting in too much hurry to put one on, so stretch them out slowly and put it on over the cock and the balls. Ladies, this is a very sexy thing to do to your man!! Kissing and licking him while you are slipping on the cock ring is well-appreciated by any living, breathing male. Just be gentle and try not to pinch any delicate tissue or grab too much pubic hair in the process. After having amazing sex, be sure and remove the cock ring and clean it. You don't want to cut off the circulation too long or too much; you might want that cock again someday!

Glass Sex Toys

I don't know when these started gaining popularity, but I only learned about them recently. Because they are made of tempered, non-toxic, high grade glass, glass dildos have the advantages of being very durable, able to be cleaned or sterilized, and are artistically beautiful. They come in all sizes and styles. They may be warmed or chilled before use if desired. Again, use lubricant when needed and always clean them after use.

Ben-Wa Balls

These have been around for centuries. They are variously weighted balls which are slipped into the vagina. The woman's vaginal muscles hold them in place, creating great toning exercises for those muscles. As you walk or move, the balls move inside and can cause interesting sensations, including orgasm for some women. The tradition is to put the Ben-Wa balls into your pussy, and sit in a rocking chair, rocking quietly (older women used to do this a lot!!) and having pleasant orgasms, presumably with no one else the wiser!

Conclusion

This is in no way a complete discussion of sex toys. This is just to get you started. There is a whole world of sex toys now, easily available. (There are still laws in some states making it illegal to sell them!! The Texas law was only overturned in the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in February, 2008! Fortunately, we also have the internet and other sources now) The BDSM category has an even more extensive selection of sex toys than the average kinky person can even imagine!! Once I do more research, I'll pass on more information about all the fun things you can use to enhance your sex lives!! Have fun!!

The End