Just Friends

By Irish Eyes

I met Adam (I'll call him) on-line on a dating website. Although we decided not to date at the time, we became friends. We chatted on-line and on the phone regularly. He helped me get through some of my post-divorce conflicts and I commiserated with him about his girlfriend who wasn't ready for a commitment. It was the first time I had had a really good male friend and I really enjoyed his friendship. All this, and I had never actually met him (just seen a few pictures of him running, obviously in great shape).

Adam let me know that he was coming to town to attend a concert and I quickly offered to let him stay at my place after the concert. We decided to meet for dinner. Before the dinner, I wondered what sort of message my outfit should send. Was I going for nice older woman to eat dinner with or wanton harlot rediscovering her exhibitionist side?? I compromised on a slightly low-cut top which accentuated my assets! As I walked up the steps to the restaurant, a very tall, striking guy walks up to me and gives me a quick hug.. We go into the restaurant and order our dinner. We easily fall into conversation, since we've had so many others before, but I can't take my eyes off of him. I am impressed with the paradoxical nature of this man. He is a PhD, very bright. He is a boxer and has been known to fight dirty when necessary. He has a strong sense of right and wrong, and will always defend the innocent. He is a highly trained athlete and wants to adopt a child sometime (with or without a female partner). He is a charming gentleman and an intensely sexual man, all at the same time. I thoroughly enjoy getting to know him more.

He leaves to go to his concert, just down the street. He'll come back to my place afterwards, but I decide to go hang out at my favorite pub. I'm a regular and meet up with some of my friends. I am just a little buzzed from the margarita with dinner. So, I ask my friends, "Can friends fuck, and still be friends?" Well, almost all of them say "no, doesn't work". But I do know people who have done so and continued as friends, so maybe it depends on the friends! Adam and I text-message a little while we are at our separate entertainments. About 10:30, after dancing to my favorite song, I start heading home. I'm hot and sweaty, so I quickly draw a bath. Just before I get in, Adam text-messages me that he is going to be leaving in a little while. As I get in the bath, I start to wonder whether or not this relationship is going to stay platonic.

Being my exhibitionist self (somewhat contained), I wait for him to get home wearing a tank top, no bra, and bike shorts. Just what I would usually have on if I had to wear clothes at all. My pulse is rising, and I feel the excitement of the unknown. I've been pushing a lot of boundaries lately. Do I push this one, or just see what happens? What are the consequences if I fuck up the friendship??

When Adam gets to my house, a little after midnight, we lay around, me on the bed, him on the floor just talking easily. Eventually, after a midnight bowl of cereal, we decide to soak in the hot tub for a while. There is a lot of sex in the conversation- my past, his past, our present situations- but even the back rub doesn't get anything else started. So, I am resigned.. I really do want this man to be my friend. When we go back in the kitchen for water, from across the room, I see that he has 3 tattoos where I can see them (and one he tells me is under his swimsuit which I don't see). He has nipple piercings with small rings! Seeing those almost did me in. OMG! Tattoos and piercings have never done a thing for me before, but right here, right now, I have to force myself not to touch, to taste!! We say goodnight, and he goes to my guest room. I go to bed, but sleep eludes me. I'm tired, of course, but sexual frustration and the tension of trying to decide what to do about the relationship interfere with a good night's rest.

After a restless night, I wake up early and get on-line. Of course, I ask advice from some of my men. They pretty much all say, "go for it if you want, as long as you are ready for the consequences". No help!! Well, a little help, because they remind me that there are several other men (other than Adam) who find me a sexy, desirable, uninhibited woman. When Adam gets up and comes in my room, I'm watching a movie (Once, a movie I really like although it was an independent, relatively unknown film). He notices right away and names it. He has the soundtrack CD. I'm impressed. We sit on the bed, mostly dressed (I have on the tank top and panties), watch the movie and talk for a while. When he borrows my laptop, I lean against him, reading over his shoulder. While my computer is up, an uninvited IM pops up asking me if I want to fuck or suck!! Bad timing, but we laugh.

Needing nourishment, we go to breakfast at a local restaurant. During breakfast, I learn more about this fascinating man. We even compare our total numbers of sex partners!! Mine is relatively low before I got married, and several more since my divorce (I'm not giving the numbers out!). His is in the 300's!!! I am in awe.. This is uninhibited hedonism beyond my imagination. I am impressed with his prolific sex life and still wouldn't mind adding to his numbers!!

After breakfast, he plans to go run along the lake and then head home (after meeting a woman for coffee who he met at the concert!! Obviously, he's not shy). We say goodbye, with a hug.

Later, I decide to push the boundary a little. I send an email to Adam asking my favorite question of the day, "Can friends have sex, and still be friends?" His answer a few hours later is that yes, generally, they can. Unfortunately for me, his current goal is to find a long term relationship and hopefully, mother for the child he hopes to have. It's my bad luck to have lousy timing!! I don't feel rejected because I wasn't hurt personally in any way. Another time, another place, it might have happened.

So, I'm back to having this amazing guy as a good friend. I explained to him that I hadn't had a good male friend before and didn't know what the boundaries or rules were, so I had to test them (as I've been doing to a lot of boundaries lately). It all worked out and I didn't lose anything. I'm not so sure it would have turned out well with a different set of circumstances. So, what's the answer to the question, "Can friends fuck, and still be friends?" I still don't know!

The End