DDF and Other Partial Truths, A Story about Safer Sex

By Irish Eyes

As some of you may know, I love to find out information, especially about sex.. I love to do research (of course, the really fun, naked kind, but also the reading kind). So, it was only a matter of time before I wrote a story about Safer Sex.

Safer Sex is now the preferred term for protecting yourself and your partner from diseases and pregnancy. That's because, as we all know, there is no such thing as Safe Sex!! If you have sex, you may be exposed to bacteria, viruses and sperm. Well, the good news is that there are some pretty effective ways to keep from getting pregnant, so I'm not discussing that. Use good judgment, don't rely on condoms alone for birth control, and use a good birth control method consistently!!

So, I was surprised that there are so many people who love sex and don't use condoms. I know they decrease sensation. I understand that some men have more erectile problems with condoms. I know they can be inconvenient. I know people really love cum anywhere and everywhere. But what are the consequences of not using them? I know I can't ask the question, but I'm sure there are people out there who have shared more than a fun time with their partners. Unfortunately, several of the most common diseases (HIV, HPV, and some others) don't show any symptoms when you are first exposed to them, so you really don't know.

That's the real problem. There are always people who state that they are DDF (drug and disease free, for new people who may not know). Well, unless they had a test for all the possible sexually- transmitted diseases that day and can show you the results, there is no fucking way to actually know that to be true. I'm not saying that people lie (though some may), but most of the time, they just don't know for sure. Obviously, having sex with multiple partners drastically increases your risk- no way around that truth.

When I started exploring my sexuality after my divorce (and having a wonderful time doing it, I must say!), I really had no experience with condoms. Before my marriage, it wasn't such a big deal (they were only starting to understand about HIV/AIDS then). Then, I was married for a very long time. So, when I started having sex again, I had to find out all about them. The first thing I found out is that there are a lot of condoms, whole fucking shelves'-full!! I had no idea what to get, but I thought "thin", "sensitive", "feels like nothing at all" sounded good. I did think that I should have some, in case my partner didn't (me being a liberated, educated woman, you know!!).

Next was the issue of how to ask/tell my partner that I wanted him to use them!! I had no clue. One time I said, "Uhh, are we forgetting something?" Another time, "Are we going to use condoms?" I didn't even know exactly when I was supposed to bring up the subject, except that when his cock was actually inside my pussy was probably a little late! So, I stumbled along for a while. Sometimes we used them, sometimes we didn't. I wasn't comfortable with not using them, but I wasn't comfortable getting men to use them either. Damn!!

Finally, I had a serious conversation with my best male friend (who I don't have sex with). I asked him what his policy was. I knew that he had had much more sex than I ever hoped to. He told me straight out that he ALWAYS uses condoms. He never trusts people who say they don't have anything for just the reason above, they don't really know. He said that he's had several friends who have contracted an STD. He's had several friends who are HIV positive now. No condom, No sex!! Pretty simple. This is a man I really trust, so I listened. And I learned.

I started bringing up condoms in the pre-sex chatting. When I would talk to a man about what I love to do sexually, I would just simply say, "I require condoms; any problem with that?" Of course, some guys would explain that they hate them, but if they wanted to play with my body, they would wear them!! No other option convinces them pretty quickly. I bought more condoms, different types, even Magnums for the big guys!! I learned to get them out of my drawer early and have them easily available so there was very little disruption of the passion!! And, I learned to put them on their cocks! Ladies, if you haven't done this before, it can be a pretty sexy experience! Just get them nice and hard first, leave a little room in the top (for the semen when they come), and start rolling the condom down their cock. Sometimes, the condom can be difficult to unroll completely; just be patient and give your guy's cock a few strokes while you are getting things sorted out and they rarely complain about the delay!! Another thing I learned is that there are flavored condoms, so if you like to continue playing with your mouth during or after the condom placement, they taste much better than plain latex. I haven't tried them yet, but I just bought some and I'm looking forward to the opportunity!

A recent question came up about other protective measures. Does anyone actually use protection when eating a woman's pussy? Most people don't, (the risk is relatively less than with intercourse) but if you are interested, some people use a dental dam. Now, you can't exactly pick these up at your local pharmacy or HEB, but you may be able to find them in the sex stores or on-line. What works pretty well (again, I have no experience, but good research/reading to fall back on) is a cut open latex glove, a cut open condom, or a piece of non-microwavable plastic wrap (the microwavable kind has little pores in it so it's not a good barrier to germs). I also learned that almost nobody uses condoms for oral sex (fellatio), but they are listed as recommended for Safer Sex.

A much more serious subject is anal sex. Anal sex is a much riskier situation because the tissue there is more delicate, allowing small cracks in the lining where bacteria can get in. Condoms should always be used with anal sex!! Some people also use a dental dam or gloves for anal-oral sex or anal stimulation with a finger or toy. The most important thing (and one of my main reasons for writing this blog) is that you should never move ANYTHING (finger, toy, or cock) directly from ass to vagina!!! Besides the STD germs I've been talking about, there are other serious germs in the anus that can cause very bad infections when deposited in the vagina. Moving the other direction is fine, so if you've been happily fucking her vagina and you want to move your cock into her ass, and it's okay with her, go for it!! But if you've been in the ass, and you want to move back into the vagina, you must either go wash up with soap and water (cock and hands preferably) and/or change condoms (and still wash your hands if they have been used to stimulate her ass first). Of course, the same rule applies if you are moving from one partner to another at a party. This is really important and a very simple step that can prevent a serious infection!!

So, I've come a long way, baby!! I take care of myself. I speak up and say what I want, and I get my men to use condoms!! I'm proud of my own initiative and have found that being direct and honest really works! I'm certainly still having a lot of fun! So, people, please be safer. Take care of yourself and your partners while having fun. Let's be careful out there!! --

The End