What one woman wants in a man

I am blessed and have many wonderful people in my life. I have not as yet found that "relationship" I do know how to define that relationship though. I know what I want and need. I have posted this in general before. I have been single since 2001 by choice. I am not interested in "starting over",

I have a family....children & grandchildren, established here in AL. They are the spokes of support in my wheel of life. I never plan to be isolated from them. I need their support as they do mine. They are not baggage like some people refer to their families.... mine are loved and adored extensions of my life. Those family issues will not be in a new relationship. I expect the child-rearing, starting over days, to be long over for a guy also as he would probably be in my age bracket. I am retired, financially secure (fixed small income), physically comfortable, self-reliant and independent in that I make my own decisions.

I was married for 26 yrs to same guy before that. Yes I KNOW what a relationship takes to survive. I still deep down desire at some point to have a significant, intimate connection with another person..... So here goes. We always hear people talking about what women want in men. I think it should just be what people desire in a person they desire a relationship with; across the board regardless of sexual orientation. What I want in a relationship. I have thought about this a lot and here is what I need. MIND, BODY, SOUL AND CHARACTER.

Now I am NOT talking about a superficial sexual or social affair. I can have those every day without a significant emotional feeling. Getting my body stroked and my ego are two entirely different things. It is REALLY nice when you get them both at the same time. I am comfortable with my social sexuality.(not casual but social) I am talking about what this girl wants and need in her man (relationship).

I have come to the conclusion that yes it needs to be a man as I am heterosexual with hedonistic BI tendencies. In other words I will engage in sex with women but it is only to fulfill hedonistic/egotistical pleasures and not necessarily attracted to women sexually without a man present. Of course that COULD be because I've never been with a woman without a man involved...hmmm,

I can not answer for all women I just know what I want and need. I am a well-rounded individual. I KNOW and have confidence in what I can bring to the table in a relationship. I would NOT expect of another person what I was not willing to give. I KNOW relationships take dedication and devotion and unselfishness. I believe a good relationship is the most valued thing a person can have in their lives and it would be worth all the work to maintain it. This is what I need them to bring...

MIND..... I want a man that can intellectually stimulate and challenge me, who can help me grow and learn in little ways everyday. A man who can challenge my views and perceptions. A man who I can sit down with on Sunday morning and read the paper and start a debate with "you know..... I think". I need a man who will debate me on ideas, philosophies, society and thoughts. Who will challenge me to think, accept or deny and expand my perspectives. This person doesn't have to have a master's degree or anything like that but should have at some point in life read some books, has a general good overall education and thinks out side the box. I need a man who has wondered and thinks. I need a man of intellectual depth, who can hold his own in a debate with me, who doesn't have to be right or wrong, who can debate issues with reason, fact and logic, one whom can agree to disagree. I do NOT argue but delight in a passionate debate.

BODY.... UH HUH!! I am not a Barbie I do not expect a KEN. I do have some preferences on physical appearance. I have an oral hygiene thing. I am NOT attracted to bad teeth. I need guy to have good teeth even if he puts them in a jar at night. lol Weight I am fluffy (grandson says just fluffy...not fat) I have curves in all the right places just some curvier than others. I would be uncomfortable (after a while) with a Greek God guy. Fantasy is one thing but reality is another all together different thing. If a guy is over say average 250 it impedes physical sexuality.

Size ... ok size does matter in the amount that got to have enough to work with and in working order. Anything else either way is something I would have to work with and it shouldn't be THAT difficult. Passion, sensuality and intensity. I can be a freak. I am not inhibited in expressing my sexuality. I am enjoying my sexuality for the first time in my life. I intend to have fun, play and enjoy myself.

Depending on the mood I like romantic, erotic, sensual, candle light, incense, massage tantric sex ... to... all the way across the spectrum to hot, sweaty, in the yard, howling, intense, passionate, hair pulling, rattle the cages, wild monkey sex. Those both at any time day or night in any place I think I can get away with it. I like spontaneous and passionate. I like to flirt, tease, seduce, play, and public displays of affection. As a matter of fact I may be a smidge exhibitionist but appropriately so. Never around children. I desire a man to have the stamina, passion and intensity to match mine. It is not a mater of switch on or not it a matter of how high the heat.

SOUL..... I need a man with the ability and who willing to connect with me on an intimate, emotional and spiritual level. I need a man that cares. I need him to care if I'm sad or in pain, if I am joyous and happy. I need him to feel what I feel as his own. He needs to have sympathy and empathy for me. He can be macho, closed, masculine and tough to the rest of the world but with me he needs to have these virtues.

He needs to have kindness, consideration and thoughtfulness in dealing with me. He needs to respect me and appreciate me in the sense that I could NOT be in his life, this is my life too and I choose to share it with him as he does me. If we feel each other's pain and joy then we would naturally strive in our everyday lives to enhance each other's joy while avoiding pain. I need a man to be loyal and trustworthy. I want to have faith and knowledge that my life and my "self" is safe in his care in all ways.

I need a man of emotional strength some one with a shoulder for me to cry on with enough emotional strength to be able to show me tenderness. Hey I'm a woman I WILL cry. I don't expect or need him to fix the things I will cry about but just empathize and be there to baby me when I need to cry. I need him to be able as strong as he may be to comfort me and nurture me. Sometimes I will need to be his baby and he just let me know he is steadfast there and all issues will pass and he will still be there with me.

CHARACTER.... OK People character is NOT something someone is born with. Each virtue must be developed. If you do not have character you can not sustain ANY long-term relationship either personal or professional. No one can have the depth of mind, body or soul it takes without character. A person's character is their destiny. You have to develop a good character to be a good person. You have to live a good life to have one.

I need a man to be self-reliant, fiscally responsible and emotionally healthy. I have worked on mine. I bring a good full virtuous character into my relationships I expect the same. I need for a man to have these characteristics developed: Honest, trustworthy, loyal, compassionate, empathy, sympathy, caring, kind, passionate, sensual, reliable, dependable, confidence, responsible, accountable, spontaneity, playfulness, joy, seductive, romantic, erotic, and most of all a GREAT big...... sense of humor (OMG got to have humor).

That is it in a great big nutshell. Is that too much to ask???? I can give it. It seems reasonable to me that anyone would desire these things in their life male or female. But then again I had a fortune when I was young that said" That which makes you most exceptional ...will make you the loneliest" that seem many times to be true. I just hope not all my life. I am not lonely I have loved ones and family but I am lonely in the romantic relationship area of my life. You never know unless you ask. But please don't apply for a job YOU do not have the qualifications for.

I just want all the "BAD BOY" passion, confidence, spontaneity, humor and ability to let lose and have fun along with all the other responsible caring traits. Unfortunately that's usually two different people. A "bad boy" with good credit, emotionally stable, not needy, laundry done, and doesn't have a whole host of many disappointed women who he used while they tried to make a life with him in the past. If you are that one guy give me a holler!!!!

Luvs Rose