Rape Fantasy

Note from the editor: This is a powerful story about a women's rape fantasy. It is about non-consent sex in its truest sense. As the editor of Erotictymes, I must make it clear that we do not condone such acts in real life. We do not however have a problem with posting non-consent stories. If rape offends you I would ask that you read no further. Tyme

A Rape fantasy

I began the walk home, dreading it. It is so far, through the darkened heart of campus, deserted during this holiday weekend. I trudged under the arches, a brief glimmering smile at their legend, and tucked my head against the whipping wind.

My mind drifted, stopping on this, pausing on that. It was all a hazy dream, thinking of my bed, which was calling out to me from the distance. Thinking of how the day had been, of work and my classes and my parents and friends. And yet, thinking of nothing. My mind already traversed the realms that lay ahead. I was asleep on my feet, depending on instinct to guide me home.

The harsh braying of the college bell sharply woke me from my trance. Its dull clanging penetrated the still night air. I was surprised that someone else was awake at this time of night. Someone with the drive to ring the bell. I shrugged, paused in my step, and then resumed, quickening the pace. Probably some drunken frat boys, I mumbled to myself.

I heard the crunch of foot upon gravel, but couldn't see anyone over there. Taking a deep breath, not breaking stride, I ignored it. Fear works only when you are alone. . .

As I passed the law building, I became aware of several people hanging out at the stairs that come up onto street level. As I neared, I could smell the alcohol. They were reeking of it. I tucked my coat around myself, trying to hide, but kept walking. They became aware of me: I didn't realize that I couldn't get past them without a scene until it was too late.

'Hey', the closest one said, wittily. If you could slur a 'Hey', he did.

I kept up a steady walk hoping to get past them, crowding towards the edge of the sidewalk.

"I said 'Hey", he snarled angrily, the intoxication welling in his voice.

There were maybe four others, some holding bottles, sitting on the steps, in the shadows. The ground contained several bottles, mostly empty, some broken. 'What a strange place to drink', I thought to myself, but was promptly jarred out of my thoughts when the foremost one, who had spoken, grabbed my arm.

Panicking, I tried to shake him off but couldn't loosen his increasingly firm grip on my upper arm. I looked at him closely for the first time. He was big. I dug the fingernails of my free hand into the wrist he was holding me with. He grunted, dropped the bottle he had, and pounded my face with the back of his hand. I was flung to the ground, dazed, reeling from the blow - my face was numb from the sudden force applied to my cold cheek.

"Bitch!" I heard from his direction, me eyes were closed. I felt my arms grabbed, and as I re-opened my eyes I was hurled to my feet.

He had a hand on each arm. I was limp, still dazed, and he tossed me to two of his friends. They caught me, twisting my arms, and I opened my mouth, a small protest escaping my lungs. 'Shut up!' he commanded, back handing me harder than the first time, I was held up, my legs completely going out, body becoming limp.

They pulled me down the stairs quickly, my feet bouncing, as I tried to scream for help. Someone behind me, got a fist full of hair, and a hand clamped down on my jaw. Someone else grabbed my legs, holding them firmly together.

All of this registered in an instant, and I realized that I was about to be raped.

The big one was there in my face again, I could smell him; hear his coarse breathing, sense him through half-closed eyes.

He grabbed my skirt, savagely tearing it as he ripped it off of me. Panties went just as quick, a little more painfully, and then I was open to him.

Tears sprang to my eyes. I couldn't twist or move. I tried to open my mouth but there were no words. I gurgled in my throat, shut my eyes, and heard the unmistakable sound of a zipper.

Fingertips ran through my pubic hair, pulling cruelly. I gasped, tried to move my hips, turn away, but they pried my legs open.

I was panicking. Needed escape, needed help. Tears came and more tears. He entered me. I could barely gasp, tears rolling down my cheeks from closed eyes, feeling his breath upon my neck, smelling the awful gut-wrenching smell of beer, being crushed by his chest.

Biting into my neck, hands hitting on my head, groping at my chest, and all the time, the pumping, pulsing, as I felt my body being violated, intruded.

As I felt this strange man inside of me terror gripped me. Oh why, oh why me? What did I do? When will I be free of him his breath the foul breath the smell, the stench, the close touching, the tears down my face, the teeth and hands oh! I'm hit again and again.

This man, this dick inside me, in out in out driving me insane, please! Don't! Help! Oh god! What did I do?

Ashamed for what I am. No no please why can't you stop! There's no help. Ouch my head, my arm, more tears. Please, no more twisting, turning. I try to hide, can't stop feeling. Why do I feel? Can't I die? No more, no more thrusting, breathing. Let me go please. I'm crying and crying, the smell the terrible smell. The touch, the cruel hands all over me and feeling and thrusting and banging and will it ever end. Be over please. Why was I bad? Did I bring it on oh! My arms, legs, the pinching, ripping, losing what I had. Mine no more and it's hurting. Why can't I speak?

My hair, my tears, my body, I'm no longer whole and the thrusting the awful pushing inside me. Will it never stop? Oh please stop. The breath hot and wet on me and smell the beer oh! Stop please. Such awful feeling, I want to die.

I'm despairing, please let go of my hair. My beauty gone...Myself no longer... Tears and pain a heavy chest pushing, dryness grinding. Why did I do it? It's not good, hiding helpless, please let it end. My head hurting... My breath pounding... breath lungs!

Thrusting over and over, he's thrusting and I'm crying... All I see in my head is pain, bricks, stairs, beer, broken glass, cut, blood, and the smell.

The horror is over, he's finished. I'm on my knees and he's gone. No more, pain. Will I bleed forever? Wrenching, hiding, lonely, crying because no one can see me. I'm all alone in pain, the glass broken, bleeding...huddled and lonely so cold.

Arms, around me, blanket warmth. Why? What did I do? More tears. Someone's holding me caressing me, touching me. I don't want it. Let me away. But warm soft strong arms envelope me. The smell is gone. I'm back. It's me, I'm here. He's kissing me and walking with Me... it was terrible, forever alone, the smell, the awful smell. But it's gone Now, it's no more. He's talking, calming, I hear him. "That's rape" he's saying.

"That's real rape." He says. "It's what you wanted."

Nodding yes, I wanted it, it was bad, and the smell will be forever in my mind. The smell and touching and thrusting and tears. . .

I wake up later. I'm home.

Tears are still there, the smell still in my head. Oh no, not again.

But it's not real.

I'm on the couch with him, a blanket tightly holding me.

"Was that enough?" he is asking.

"More than," I reply, shaking. Wondering why I wanted it, what it was. . .

"Only a fantasy," he says.

"Yes.", I reply, "Mine."

I wanted it. I asked him for it. And he did it, with his friends.

I hadn't known it would be like that. . .

"Was it what you expected?" he is asking.

"Yes, but different, so...," My voice trails off. Shivering holding onto him crying more tears. Endless tears.

"Thank you." I said in between gasps and snivels.

He kisses me, holding me.

"I love you." he says.

"I love you too." I reply, weakly, drifting in and out.

My god it's returning. Will never go away, never? The touching, the thrusting, the crying, hiding forever? I'll Never be the same.

The smell, the awful smell. . . .

I'm going to be sick.

The end